I have been putting my hope in my human body instead of in the Lord.
How guilty I am of that! I have put my faith and my hope in my human body. But this body will fail. This body will fade. This body will die. My human body WILL fail me. My human body is not what matters. It isn't about me!
All things happen through Him. It will not be ME getting something right. It will not by MY miracle. My body can't get pregnant without God. All through this journey I have felt MY failure. I have felt MY yearnings. But this isn't about me!
My hope should be in the Lord.
I feel tired and overwhelmed and overrun by this trial. But that is because my hope is misplaced! I don't need to hope for good follicles. I don't need to hope for strong swimmers. I don't need to hope for proper implantation. The scripture gives me a clear path: Hope in the Lord. I don't need to hope for anything but the will of the Lord. It’s easy to put my hope in other things; hope in my body and its ability to function correctly, hope in medicine, hope in the doctors. But that isn't right. I need to focus my hope on the Rock of Ages who will never let me down.
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
I read a devotional recently that said to "listen to that still, small voice of hope on the inside that says, “No way. This is not who I am. I was created to live in victory. I was created to overcome this sickness. I was created to rise above these problems.” (sadly, I don't remember where I read this -- I copied the quote for my use not thinking I'd blog about it and want to credit it!) God is faithful! He created me to overcome this sickness and rise above this problem! He created me!
Isaiah 40:30-31 reminds all of us that if we put our hope in the Lord, He will renew our strength. He will take away the weariness. He will make sure we are not overwhelmed. He will make sure our trials do not overrun us. He will let us soar on wings like eagles, and He'll empower us to move forward confidently into the victory He has planned!
Father God, I choose You. I want to place my hope in you. Help me have the strength to put my hope in You and not in myself. I know that I am not able to this on my own, and I have been guilty of hoping in myself not You. I know you have plans for me. I know they are going to be good. I know they are going to be wild. I know they are going to be full of you. I know that if I place my hope in You, You will renew my strength and guide me through this trial. Please fill me with Your peace and Your joy and Your assurance. May every move I make be of You, for You, and to glorify You. Amen.